How To Get Over An Ex-Girlfriend or Ex-Boyfriend
Author: Free Dating Sites
So to start please recognize a fact that may seem so obvious that sometimes it gets overlooked. Relationships are generally easier to start but their ending can be quite hard to accept. We all been there at one time or another, where a person that you dated and really cared for suddenly drops the ax and ends the relationship. The news catches us by surprise and literally negatively impacts our internal mental game. The shock can sometimes leave us defenseless and not allow us to function.
An excellent analogy that fits perfectly for being dumped is a prime time heavy weight boxing match. So if you may, picture a young Mike Tyson (your ex) beating up on you for a good two rounds. As the bell rings to signal the start of the third round you find yourself lying on the canvas on your back. As you lay there disoriented and woozy with a couple of black eyes, bruised with some memory loss and other symptoms of trauma, you wonder what could have possibly gone wrong?
The First Week
The first week after being dumped could be classified as the worst. You no longer sleep as well and mornings do not come soon enough. Laying awake in the middle of the night feeling nostalgic is pretty depressing. This is perfectly natural. A breakup is a process in which you basically mourn the failed relationship, thinking of the good times that you had with your ex is something that can't be avoided. You need to allow this process to take its course. There is a little mental exercise which many men and women have used since the beginning of time that has helped speed up the healing process. The trick is that good memories are replaced with bad memories. So whenever your ex enters your thoughts, you replace the good times with the worst of times. Think about it! If you allow yourself to think only of the good times, it will drive you insane. However, if you think of the really bad times you had with your ex then being dumped actually feels like the best thing that could have possibly happened to you. No longer being together starts to feel like a blessing in disguise. You play those bad memories enough times in your head and after a while you actually start to believe it.
On The Rebound
You may feel like you can't go on and start really missing your ex. You hate the thought of them being with someone else. Rushing out to find yourself a replacement is a really bad idea at this time. Some may say that the best way to get over someone is to get under one. This may be true if you did not have strong feelings for that person, but if you truly loved your ex then this simply will not work. You're right, if you had another person, then you wouldn't think of your ex as much. But being in such a fragile state, the most likely scenario is that you will end up hooking up with whoever is available and that person who you end up sleeping with will wind up being hurt. So at the end of the day, you will feel just as bad as when you started and have ended up hurting a perfectly innocent person in the process.
Rebuilding Your Self-Esteem
You may feel the urge to go back on the market and start dating before you are ready. But think about it! Do you really think your dating skills are up to date, after all, you been out the dating game for a while. Is your confidence ready? Are your flirting skills up to par? Has your shattered self-esteem returned back to normal? Even though you may not realize this, the sense of loss is written all over your face. People see you coming before you even open your mouth. You have to allow yourself enough time for closure to seep into your subconscious. Getting back out there and meeting new people is a great idea when the time is right! Anytime before that and you set yourself up for rejection and disappointments. You have to allow yourself enough time for your confidence and your inner game to return. Missing someone while meeting someone new is an oxymoron; it only ends up with you subconsciously sending a needy energy that repulses the person you are trying to attract. Rejection at this premature stage of the game only serves to retard the healing process.
Back In the Singles Market
First of all, being dumped leaves an enormous dent on your psyche. You may want to stay on the single's canvas for a little while so you can take a break from dating and recharge your batteries, after all you are in no position to stand up and risk getting hit again. You need a recuperation period so you can gather your thoughts and analyze how you missed all those red flags, or in your case all the left hooks and uppercuts that your ex threw your way.
The healing process can't start if you do not stop calling your ex. You can't possibly think that drunk-dialing your ex can help your situation. You basically have to resist the urge to find out what they are up to. The worst thing that can happen is that they tell you they are in a new relationship or worse yet that they are engaged. So why put yourself in that sad predicament? Simply delete their phone number so you remove that urge or ability to call them. If they want to reach out to you, they know your number. If you stay in contact with ex chances are that they will only hurt you even more and you will repulse them. Even if your ex wants to get back together with you, the thought of you begging for a second chance will most likely kill off that possibility of reconsideration. Anytime the urge enters your mind to call them, simply walk away from the phone and go to the gym or to a drive in movie. Do whatever it takes for you to fight off that urge.
Feeling Like Yourself Again
Some shave their heads (Britney Spears) others just burn down the mansion (TLC's Lisa Lopes aka Left Eye). You have to find out what works for you. By the way, this may be a brilliant time to go shopping. Rebuilding your wardrobe is a really good pick-me-up after being dumped. Looking good and sharp is the best revenge. This is also an excellent time to join the gym. Aside from the side affects of making you look good, exercise is actually a perfect way to blow off steam and also it reduces stress, something that you really need after being dumped. These little exercises also serve as mini-distractions that allows you to experience life without your ex partner. You need to learn how to be a whole person again. Learn to enjoy life and being happy without your ex better half.
So now that you have allowed yourself to mourn the relationship, you are ready to move on. You have a new wardrobe and are looking pretty attractive to the opposite sex. If you are in your early 20's or 30's checking out the local dance clubs or bars is not a bad idea to re-start your dating groove. You can then work yourself back to the online dating scene to find that true love that you long to desperately replace.
How To Get Over An Ex-Girlfriend or Ex-Boyfriend
Author: Free Dating Sites
So to start please recognize a fact that may seem so obvious that sometimes it gets overlooked. Relationships are generally easier to start but their ending can be quite hard to accept. We all been there at one time or another, where a person that you dated and really cared for suddenly drops the ax and ends the relationship. The news catches us by surprise and literally negatively impacts our internal mental game. The shock can sometimes leave us defenseless and not allow us to function.
An excellent analogy that fits perfectly for being dumped is a prime time heavy weight boxing match. So if you may, picture a young Mike Tyson (your ex) beating up on you for a good two rounds. As the bell rings to signal the start of the third round you find yourself lying on the canvas on your back. As you lay there disoriented and woozy with a couple of black eyes, bruised with some memory loss and other symptoms of trauma, you wonder what could have possibly gone wrong?
The First Week
The first week after being dumped could be classified as the worst. You no longer sleep as well and mornings do not come soon enough. Laying awake in the middle of the night feeling nostalgic is pretty depressing. This is perfectly natural. A breakup is a process in which you basically mourn the failed relationship, thinking of the good times that you had with your ex is something that can't be avoided. You need to allow this process to take its course. There is a little mental exercise which many men and women have used since the beginning of time that has helped speed up the healing process. The trick is that good memories are replaced with bad memories. So whenever your ex enters your thoughts, you replace the good times with the worst of times. Think about it! If you allow yourself to think only of the good times, it will drive you insane. However, if you think of the really bad times you had with your ex then being dumped actually feels like the best thing that could have possibly happened to you. No longer being together starts to feel like a blessing in disguise. You play those bad memories enough times in your head and after a while you actually start to believe it.
On The Rebound
You may feel like you can't go on and start really missing your ex. You hate the thought of them being with someone else. Rushing out to find yourself a replacement is a really bad idea at this time. Some may say that the best way to get over someone is to get under one. This may be true if you did not have strong feelings for that person, but if you truly loved your ex then this simply will not work. You're right, if you had another person, then you wouldn't think of your ex as much. But being in such a fragile state, the most likely scenario is that you will end up hooking up with whoever is available and that person who you end up sleeping with will wind up being hurt. So at the end of the day, you will feel just as bad as when you started and have ended up hurting a perfectly innocent person in the process.
Rebuilding Your Self-Esteem
You may feel the urge to go back on the market and start dating before you are ready. But think about it! Do you really think your dating skills are up to date, after all, you been out the dating game for a while. Is your confidence ready? Are your flirting skills up to par? Has your shattered self-esteem returned back to normal? Even though you may not realize this, the sense of loss is written all over your face. People see you coming before you even open your mouth. You have to allow yourself enough time for closure to seep into your subconscious. Getting back out there and meeting new people is a great idea when the time is right! Anytime before that and you set yourself up for rejection and disappointments. You have to allow yourself enough time for your confidence and your inner game to return. Missing someone while meeting someone new is an oxymoron; it only ends up with you subconsciously sending a needy energy that repulses the person you are trying to attract. Rejection at this premature stage of the game only serves to retard the healing process.
Back In the Singles Market
First of all, being dumped leaves an enormous dent on your psyche. You may want to stay on the single's canvas for a little while so you can take a break from dating and recharge your batteries, after all you are in no position to stand up and risk getting hit again. You need a recuperation period so you can gather your thoughts and analyze how you missed all those red flags, or in your case all the left hooks and uppercuts that your ex threw your way.
The healing process can't start if you do not stop calling your ex. You can't possibly think that drunk-dialing your ex can help your situation. You basically have to resist the urge to find out what they are up to. The worst thing that can happen is that they tell you they are in a new relationship or worse yet that they are engaged. So why put yourself in that sad predicament? Simply delete their phone number so you remove that urge or ability to call them. If they want to reach out to you, they know your number. If you stay in contact with ex chances are that they will only hurt you even more and you will repulse them. Even if your ex wants to get back together with you, the thought of you begging for a second chance will most likely kill off that possibility of reconsideration. Anytime the urge enters your mind to call them, simply walk away from the phone and go to the gym or to a drive in movie. Do whatever it takes for you to fight off that urge.
Feeling Like Yourself Again
Some shave their heads (Britney Spears) others just burn down the mansion (TLC's Lisa Lopes aka Left Eye). You have to find out what works for you. By the way, this may be a brilliant time to go shopping. Rebuilding your wardrobe is a really good pick-me-up after being dumped. Looking good and sharp is the best revenge. This is also an excellent time to join the gym. Aside from the side affects of making you look good, exercise is actually a perfect way to blow off steam and also it reduces stress, something that you really need after being dumped. These little exercises also serve as mini-distractions that allows you to experience life without your ex partner. You need to learn how to be a whole person again. Learn to enjoy life and being happy without your ex better half.
So now that you have allowed yourself to mourn the relationship, you are ready to move on. You have a new wardrobe and are looking pretty attractive to the opposite sex. If you are in your early 20's or 30's checking out the local dance clubs or bars is not a bad idea to re-start your dating groove. You can then work yourself back to the online dating scene to find that true love that you long to desperately replace.